Thursday Update For Ben

I left to go to the hospital a little earlier today because I decided not to take the freeway. I took surface streets all the way and it took me about 10 minutes longer than when I take the freeway. Ben's nurse today was Steve. I told Steve that I would prefer that they not give Ben morphine and to tell the night nurse not to give it to him either. Steve told me that he is not big on giving patients narcotics so he would not give Ben morphine and that he will tell the night nurse what my wishes are. I just hope the night nurse will do what I've asked. They had Ben on another breathing trial today, but the respiratory technician was a different person than yesterday and he only let Ben go 3 1/2 hours breathing on his own today. He said Ben was gasping too much. The tech yesterday said it was good for him to gasp because it strengthens his lungs. They all have their own idea about what works and what doesn't. Ben's vitals were good. He still had a low grade fever of 99.5° today. I never did see the ICU doctor, but I did see the surgeon. She told me that all of his cultures are still coming back negative. She said Ben's white blood cells are good. She told Steve to increase the tube feeding a little more but she told me that when they get ready to remove Ben from the ventilator, they have to stop tube feeding him the day before and then after he is removed from the ventilator, she said they cannot start tube feeding him again for 24 to 48 hours to make sure he will be able to stay off of the ventilator. She said that as they increase the tube feeding that they are starting to reduce the sugar they are giving him through the IV. She also said that his kidneys do improve a little each day. Ben seemed to sleep most of the time I was there today. He did wake up now and then and I would talk to him and he'd nod sometimes. I keep telling him that HE has to be determined to get well because they will not let him leave the hospital until he does. The surgeon told me that they are doing all they can do and now it's just up to Ben's body to start healing itself and she said because Ben was not exercising before all of this happened that it will take his body longer to heal. She said the healthier you are before something like this, the faster you will get well. She said that he seems to continue to get a little better each day, but that it is going to be a slow process. I really didn't need to hear that because this going back and forth to the hospital is really starting to take its toll on me. But I NEED to be there for him. At least when my friend Lynn was staying with me, she would get me out to walk either in the morning or in the afternoon. Now I'm so wiped out when I get home, I just don't feel like going for a walk, but I have tried to do some indoor exercising with Exercise TV now and then.