Tuesday Update For Ben

The R/T fixed Ben's air in his trach so he could talk to me today. He wanted me to ask the doctor when he could go home. I told him he could not go home for several weeks because he needs to get strong and well and get off of the vent. The doctor came in to check on him and she wanted me to come out into the hall to talk with her about the Haldol she still wants to give him. When I came back into his room, Ben said "are we going home now?" and again I had to tell him no and why. He started to cry. It ripped my heart out. I don't think I've ever felt so down in my entire life. I didn't know what to do for him. He just kept sobbing. I finally calmed him down some and he told me that he's about ready to give up on ever getting well. This just killed me. The physical therapists came in to work with him, but his blood pressure would not stay stable, so they could only work with him for a little while. After they left, he started to fall asleep, so I came home.