I Made It Through Thanksgiving

Well it's my first Thanksgiving without Ben. Got up just before 7:00 am and put my turkey breast in my crock pot then got dressed and took Hiker for a 1.5 mile walk. I cried for the entire walk thinking about Ben not being here. I told myself to try to think if I had anything to be thankful for this year. I thought of a few things. First I'm so thankful for Hiker. I do not know what I would do without her. I am thankful for my brothers, my nieces and nephews, and for my friend Linda. Plus my girlfriends from work and my online friends. And I am really thankful that Ben never had to watch me die and go through the pain and anguish of losing me. He never had to feel the grief and the loneliness. Those are the things I am thankful for today. I put Hiker in the car around 8:30 and went to get my Lotto Tickets and then over to the post office to mail my car insurance out. Found out that besides the “Twilight Zone” Marathon that there was also a “Bones” Marathon, so I was going back and forth between the two all day. Decided to run over to the grocery store and pick up a few pieces of fresh fruit and some ice cream. Went to Ralphs. It actually was not very crowded for being Thanksgiving. I took Hiker with me. She is getting to really be a good girl riding in the car now. One of my online friends suggested the other day that I bundle up in Ben's zippered sweat shirt, you know the one that I said I finally hung up in the closet that had been on the back of the chair since the last time he placed it there? Well it is chilly in the house today, so I am wearing that sweat shirt right now. It's kind of having Ben's arms wrapped around me. Hiker wants to eat even though I keep telling her she has another hour or so to wait until the turkey is done. So far, I have made it through this day with only one crying session I'd say that's pretty good. I will admit that I have felt the loneliness and the emptiness of not having Ben here, but actually, he's always here in this house watching over me

Hiker & Me - Thanksgiving 2011 - taken with my laptop webcam