New Year's Day

Well last night I had a huge grief attack. I had not had a sobbing/wailing 15 minute cry for quite awhile, but I sure did last night. Guess the fact that the last year of Ben's life was now ending hit me like a ton of bricks. I keep thinking of facing the rest of my life without him. I watched the movie “Apollo 18” on the On Demand Channel last night. It was OK, but very strange, then I watched some of the “Twilight Zone” marathon until around 9:00 or so. Started working my jigsaw puzzle and did that until almost 11:00 before Hiker and I went to bed. Woke up around midnight when I heard people shooting fireworks. First thing I did when I got out of bed this morning was to head over to Wal-Mart and do my grocery shopping. I was going to go Monday morning, but I do not yet know what time the guy is coming to check my furnace. Couldn't go Tuesday either as I have my grief group. Took Hiker out for 2 short walks today as my lower back muscles are still sore, but she's happy just to get out no matter what. When Ben was alive, New Year's Day was just another day to us, but for some reason, today has felt very different to me. I don't really know how to explain the feeling. Well it's been a very lazy day. Been working on a jigsaw puzzle while watching “Murder She Wrote” on TV. I think that Hiker may have eaten one of my puzzle parts last night. I was working on the puzzle and I had all 4 corners on the table. I noticed I had dropped a couple of puzzle parts on the floor. Hiker was lying under the table. I picked up the parts I dropped and now I cannot find one of the corner pieces. Plus Hiker tried to take one of the pieces out of my hand like she was going to eat it. Guess she needed some fiber (LOL). I'm going to have a small steak and a baked potato tonight for dinner. It was one of Ben's favorite meals. I'm not a big steak lover but I'm getting tired of chicken and fish all of the time. As usual it was a beautiful clear sunny day here in SoCal on New Year's Eve. Got up to almost 85°.