I Was A Couch Potato Today

Another cold and gray morning when Hiker and I got out of bed this morning. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I have not felt like doing anything for the past few days. I don't know if it's the holidays, the weather, or just that I am missing Ben. Keith will be coming to visit for a few days before Christmas. I am really looking forward to that. One of the ladies who is in my grief group is visiting her family in Utah. She called me yesterday evening to see how I'm doing. This is her first Christmas without her husband. I cried again this afternoon. Seems that I've been doing more of that lately and I'm sure it's because of the time of year. I was outside with Hiker. She wanted me to play with her. It was cold and cloudy outside and I started to remember another cold and cloudy Sunday in January 2011. It was January 2nd. Ben and I had gone over to the Home Depot to buy a bag of wood chips to put in a spot in the backyard that I had just cleaned up. It had been full of weeds. Anyway, we bought a bag of wood chips and brought it home and he helped me spread the chips around the area. That evening it snowed here. Funny how I can remember every detail. Seems like this Christmas holiday time is harder on me than last year was. I'm guessing it's because last year I was still numb. Watched a very good movie on TV that I had never seen before. I had heard of it, but never saw it. It was called “A Time To Kill” and it had so many stars in it.