Kay's Day - 07/11/2011

Didn't get to sleep until 12:00 pm last night. I had taken 1/4 of one of my Ativan pill to try to "take the edge off". Usually they knock me out and put me to sleep, but last night it didn't help me sleep at all. It did keep me calm though so I didn't have a major crying jag. Got up around 7:00 am and made breakfast. Went to pick Linda up around 10:15 am and we headed over to the dedication for the new Haskell Canyon Open Space. Took some photos there then left and came by my house to get some stuff together that I wanted to give to the Goodwill. One of the items, they did not want to take, so we took it over to the Salvation Army and they took it. Then we went to lunch before heading up to Acton to pick up Linda's camera that she had left at my friend Marce's house last week. Took the "scenic route" going up and coming back instead of taking the freeway. On the way home we stopped at a little TV/Movie Set in Soledad Canyon in Acton. Took more photos there. I dropped Linda back home around 2:30 pm and headed home. I hate coming home to an empty house. I told Linda that it's like I feel Ben is at work and she and I are out running around like we did back when he was alive and that I'll come home and around 5:00 pm he will pull into the driveway, home from work and ready for dinner. Then reality sets in and I remember that he's never coming home again. I went up and got the mail and had received a sympathy card from my dear friend Mary Lou Voils whom I have known for 43 years. Mary Lou is in her mid-80's now. She worked with me at Lockheed for many years and she was the first person to speak to me on my first day I started working there. She just loved Ben and he loved her too. She now lives in Virginia but when she used to live in Burbank, CA Ben and I would go over and pick her up and take her to lunch at Fuddruckers for a hamburger. Anyway, I opened the card and she had put a little note in it telling me how bad she feels about him dying and there was also a small envelope inside the card. I opened the envelope and there was a $100 bill inside. I just started crying my eyes out. Once I calmed down, I immediately got on the phone and called her to thank her and tell her she did not have to do that. She said that she loved Ben and I so much that she just felt like she had to do something and she didn't know what else to do. She told me to use it toward the memorial or anything else I needed it for. I was on the phone with her for about 10 minutes and I cried the entire time I was talking with her. I have such wonderful friends.