Group Tuesday

Found this quote that I thought was very good...

“As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us. As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us~Sascha”

Did a lot of crying again yesterday so last night I took ½ sedative to help me sleep. Cried more this morning because I got to thinking about day trips Ben and I would take on his days off and I thought of how I'll never be able to do that with him again. For some reason, it just seems that I am crying more now than I was before. Could be because I am spending more time alone at home lately. At first I was getting out with friends at least 2 or 3 times a week, now I'm lucky if it is once a week. Friends go back to their own lives and routines. My life and routine as I knew it is gone forever. It could also be that his birthday is coming up on September 9th. I went to my grief support group today. Not as many people showed up today as usual. DeDee was there and after group we went to the pizza parlor for lunch. We sat there for 3 hours and just gabbed. She and I can talk about our husbands for hours because we understand that we need this kind of therapy where other people don't want to hear us talk about them. Always have a good time when she and I get together. While at the senior center I ran into Lisa, the vocational nurse who works for my attorney and who was at Ben's hospital room so many times with me. It was good to see her again.