I find that the older I get that the morning after I do a longer walk or hike that I wake up feeling like crap. I'm tired and my body aches. I do feel much better once I'm up, dressed and moving around. Just goes to show how out of shape I have gotten, or as I said, it is because I'm getting older. I choose to think that it's that I'm out of shape and really need to get back into shape. I know I've been gaining weight and even though 8 years ago, I was able to take control of my eating and go from 205 lbs down to 150 lbs, I just do not seem to have the same self control I had back then about my portions of food. I know I eat too much and I know that deep down I can lose the weight again, but it's as if I just don't have the will power anymore. Makes me mad at myself. Plus I don't get out and walk or hike as much as I did before. I've become a couch potato. Well, tomorrow I'll be going to Ventura with my friends Judy and Jean and we will be walking around, but that kind of walking is not as good as power walking and hiking. On Thursday, Hiker and I will be going on a hike with my friend RuthAnne over in Placerita Canyon, so that will be good. I need to start getting up off the couch and go more and I need to start eating less. I need to take control again! Went to my grief support group today. Our therapist had asked us to bring in photographs of our spouses. A few of us did and it was nice to be able to put faces with the people we've talked about with our members. Five of us went to Jimmy Dean's for lunch after our group session.
It's funny you should mention this, Kay, because my husband took me to Starbucks after my doctor appointment on Monday and as we were waiting for my coffee, I glanced over & saw a woman sitting in a chair. She had her tablet on her lap, her coffee in her hand. I'm guessing she was a few years older than me... around 62-65 or so. She had short greying hair, was wearing a nice big comfy t-shirt, nice loose pants, and sensible walking shoes on her feet. She looked like she was living her life how SHE wanted to live it, without caring who liked (or didn't like) how she looked or what she did. She was happy!
ReplyDeleteI told my husband that if anything ever happened to him, I would become that woman!! No more makeup, no more long hair, no more working to maintain the Biker Babe look (& at 57 that's dang hard to do!). I was going to be an "earth mama" & just simply be me.... not giving one hoot if anyone cares to the contrary.
You've mentioned here that you're mad at yourself & I suppose that's different than others being mad at you for "being out of shape" or whatever. And it is healthier to be trim & watch what we eat, etc. Ohhh.... I don't know what I'm trying to say here but.... my first reaction when I read this post from you was: "Be who you want to be, Kay!! If you want to watch tv. do it. If you want to eat out, do it. If you want to hike, do it. Don't look back on how you were when you were younger and how you felt back then. Just embrace how you feel now & go with it. Simply be happy!"
But if you're not happy with yourself right now, then that changes my whole theory, doesn't it.
I'm rambling.... best to end it here.
I support you, from miles away, however you want to live your life... however you want to look... however you want to be. :-)
~Andrea
XOXOXOXO