Kay's Day - 07/13/2001

Didn't do much today. Last night I took a sleep aid tablet around 12:00 midnight. Stayed up until 11:00 pm watching "Hawthorne". Woke up around 6:15 am but was still very sleepy, so I went back to bed and slept until around 8:15 am. Got up and made breakfast, then my brother Ron called me. After that I went over to Wal-Mart to pick up a few groceries. Had one of those drives where a song came on the radio called "I Still Miss You" and my eyes filled up with tears, but I just could not change the station. Every song I hear reminds me of Ben somehow. When I see older couples out together, I think of Ben and think "why isn't he here with me?" He is on my mind every minute of every day. They tell me at my grief group that this is very "normal". I'm told that one day, he won't be on my mind constantly. He'll be in my memory but not every waking minute. When I got back from Wal-Mart, I called and made an eye exam appointment for myself then I went out and filled my birdbath and watered my potted plant. Watched my soap and had lunch. Linda called and said she had stopped by Stater Brothers and picked up some bottles of soda for the memorial and she wanted to bring them by and put them in my closet. Played a few video games on my laptop. My brother Keith emailed and said he is coming up to Santa Clarita tomorrow to do a sound study for his work so he will be here in the afternoon and is planning on spending the night with me and then he will head home sometime on Friday. It will be nice to have some company during the evening.