One of those sneaky grief attacks hit me last night. I have not had one in almost two weeks. I was thinking about when Ben was alive and I was still working. He and I would be making the bed on Sunday because I've always washed my sheets on Sundays. Anyway, we'd be making the bed in the afternoon on Sunday and I'd tell Ben how much I hated Sunday evenings because I knew I had to get up and go to work the next day and for the last 5 1/2 years at my job, I really hated going to work. I would start getting headaches and starting to feel depressed every Sunday afternoon. Well now I feel the same way on Sunday afternoons because I know that tomorrow, I have to start another week without Ben in my life. I realize that there is nothing I can do about that. I have to go on because that's what Ben would have wanted me to do and I have Hiker (my dog) to take care of now. But...sneaky old grief came up behind me and smacked me in the head (and heart) and made me cry for awhile. Went to Wal-Mart this morning and did my shopping. I tried to buy some things to try to make some “real” meals instead of just throwing something together at the last minute. When I got home I did a little housework and then took Hiker out for her morning walk. There were a lot of people out walking today because of the holiday and I ran into one of my neighbors along the way and she was not aware that as of April 30th we are supposed to lose our Time Warner Internet Service here in our community. She does her job on her home computer and she uses TW Internet so she now doesn't know what she is going to do since she works from home. Now I'm also wondering if we will be allowed to use AT&T Internet service since their U-Verse uses fiber-optic cables just like TW does and I'm wondering if the owner of our community is going to allow them to use his underground cable system. That is why TW is dropping us because he is not going to allow them to use his system anymore. The community has to do something because there are a lot of people in this community who work from home on their computers. After lunch, Hiker and I went up to Sam's Club so I could pick up a few ore things I needed. I still like to buy some things in bulk even though it's just me here now. I can get them cheaper in bulk and I have a big freezer in the garage. I can buy certain things like pot pies and chicken breasts and they last me a long time. Came back home and went for another short walk and then I messed around with some of my sprinklers in the backyard. Some of the heads needed changing. So I was pretty busy most of my day.
I let Hiker go out on the front lawn for a few minutes