Saturday, February 11, 2012

Taxes And Rain Clouds

Woke up to a dark, cloudy morning. They say it won't rain today but it “might” rain Monday and Tuesday. Fixed breakfast and put a load of laundry into the washer. Had a “sneak grief attack” this morning. I have not had one in quite awhile so was a little surprised when this one hit. They come without warning and just about anything can bring them on. I was in my bathroom brushing my teeth. I wasn't even thinking about Ben when all of a sudden I thought of that day again when Ben was lying in the hospital bed and I kissed his cheek, hugged him and whispered into his ear that I loved him and that he was my life. I felt his kiss on my cheek and once again heard him whisper “you're my life too” and suddenly, there I was, standing in my bathroom sobbing. Took Hiker for a 1.92 mile walk this morning. Could not take her for an afternoon walk because I had to go have my taxes done. Had to drive to La Canada which is about 25 miles one way to the home of my tax man. This was my first time there in over 30 years without Ben and I did not looking forward to going. Plus it may suck. I may have to end up paying this year because of some of my investments. Will have to wait and see. On the drive back home, I came around the curve from Interstate 5 onto State Route 14 and the sky in front of me was really black. Just as I got to my off ramp, the sky opened up and it poured the rest of the way home. When I walked into the house, Hiker was sitting on the sofa. That's where she was when I left so I don't know if she stayed in that same spot the entire time I was gone or what.


  1. That sky looks fierce. Those grief ambushes are hard to take.

  2. Glad you were able to get in your morning hike with your cute Hiker before the rain. I can only hope your flashes of grief will get easier for you to handle. Take care and Happy Sunday!


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