Wednesday, October 5, 2011
After dinner last night, I kept having a feeling that I had not been having for quite awhile...I kept feeling like Ben was going to come home from work and walk through the front door. I have not had that feeling since right after he died. I'm thinking the gloomy weather had something to do with it. I moved his “shrine” from the fireplace hearth into my bedroom on the dresser. I did this because I don't want Hiker to knock any of it over when she comes to live here. When I told my brother Keith that I had moved it, he kidded me by saying “oh good, now I'll be safe when I stay with you”. If you remember, he kept telling me that sleeping in the same room with Ben's ashes freaked him out. Woke up to rain this morning. While sitting on the sofa today, I felt a little chilly but instead of turning on the furnace, I put Ben's zippered sweat shirt on. It's the first time I have moved it from the back of his easy chair where he placed it the last time he took it off. It's big on me but it was like Ben's arms were around me keeping me warm. Good news...I passed the home inspection from the dog rescue shelter so I will pick her up in a little over a week.
“Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand”~Patti Smith