Sunday, January 8, 2012

I Felt Sad Today

I still cannot get over how dark it still is around 7:00 am when I get up each morning, plus the crazy weather everyone is having. Seems where it should be snowing that it's not, where it should be raining, it's not. And SoCal is having 80-90 degree temps in January. I'm really beginning to think my brother Ron is right about the earthquake in Japan last year tilting the Earth's axis enough to mess up everything. I've researched a little bit online about it and they claim that the tilting of the axis can cause an “ice age”, like when the big asteroid hit the Earth and caused the death of the dinosaurs. Maybe the Mayans were right??? Anyway, it was very windy again here in SoCal today. We are under a “red flag warning” which means there is a chance of wild fires because of the dryness. Hiker and I went out for a short walk this morning but it was just too windy to stay out too long. While out walking I was thinking of how much I miss every day “human conversation”. Only someone who lives alone can totally understand this. There are some days I do not speak to another living human. Hiker listens to me, but she cannot answer back. I was also thinking about how I wish I could get back to enjoying shopping like I used to. When Ben was alive, I'd head over to Wal-Mart or Target or Kmart a couple of times a month and just wander all around the store looking at everything. Sometimes I didn't buy anything, but it was fun for me just to go and enjoy an hour or two of “me time” just looking at things. I also used to love to go grocery shopping. I know I've mentioned this before, but Ben and I used to go grocery shopping together and he made it fun for me. When my back was turned, he'd “sneak” something into the grocery cart and when we got to the check out I'd see it and he'd look at me with that cute “little boy” smile of his. Funny how we don't think about these things until we don't have them anymore. Today I sold Ben's and my pool table. Our good friend's son-in-law bought it from me so at least I know they will take care of it and enjoy it. For those of you who told me I should keep Ben's pool cue, you will be happy to know that I decided to keep it. So now I need to clean the garage and rearrange things to I can put the 4Runner in there. I decided after lunch to go out into the garage to start going through some of the stuff and start cleaning it up some. Bad idea. First box I opened I found a ticket for the seaplane that Ben and I flew back from Catalina Island on when we had our very first date on May 11, 1974. I totally lost it and started sobbing, so I had to stop cleaning for a little while. Got myself back together and went back out and started to go through another box. This time I found his report cards from when he was a kid in school and a few other things like his footprints when he was a baby, etc. Once again I broke down, so finally just gave up for now. I'll try again in a day or two. Don't know what's up with Hiker but she sure acts like she needs a lot of fiber. I mentioned that she's always eating leaves and chewing on wood chips from the flower beds, plus I know she ate a couple of my puzzle pieces. Well I had an AARP Bulletin Newspaper sitting on the sofa and caught her tearing it up and eating it. What's up with that?


  1. This warm weather is weird. My gardens are wanting to blast off. Beautiful picture.

  2. It's also weird that I'm on the other side of the world, downunder in OZ - and we're having the same kind of weather as you! Although it IS midsummer down here, so totally normal for us ...

    So sorry to hear of your loss - I hope you have a better day tomorrow!

  3. Yeah, the weather sure is acting strange this year!! I can relate somewhat to the lonely feeling of being alone. My sister is away at college and my mom works all day- so I am usually left home alone for most days. I feel more sad without people around. I can't imagine living alone. But at least you have Hiker there with you!! I'm sure it is hard going out and grocery shopping and all by yourself. I am so sorry Kay :( I hope that things start looking up for you!! I'm here if you ever want to talk!!


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