Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Life Goes On
Cold again this morning when we woke up, but no rain. Took Hiker for a short 1 mile walk. I swear that dog has a calendar and a wrist watch. She somehow knows what day it is. I have my Grief Support Group today and she just seems to know that she will be spending a lot of the day in the garage while I'm at group and out to lunch after with my friend DeDee. At least I have a nice sized rug, blankets, bed and of course water for Hiker out there. I wish I felt like I could trust her enough to stay in the house while I'm gone, but I'm still so afraid that she'll have an accident while I'm gone. Had an emotionally rough morning. I know that I am going through my grieving process as I should be, but I've come to a place in time where once again I'm feeling like I am just going through the motions of living. I try to fill my time with Hiker and my friends, or by doing things around home like watching TV, being on the computer, working jigsaw puzzles, etc. But I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. There were times I felt like that when Ben was alive, but at least I had him and he had a way of bringing me out of that feeling. I know that this is all part of the grieving, but sometimes, it is so hard to accept, especially when I know that this is how the rest of my life will be. A lot of people at the grief group today. Sometimes I think we have better meetings where we have less people. Too many times when there are a lot of people, members will start talking between themselves instead of sharing with the entire group and their conversations disrupt the rest of what's going on. I like it when there is only about 6 or us there actually. DeDee and I had a nice lunch. We always find so much to talk about. When I got home, I took Hiker for another short walk down in the riverbed. She was so happy to see me when I got home.