Saturday, January 7, 2012

Just Another Saturday

Could not go to sleep last night. Felt like back right after Ben died and I was having grief induced insomnia. I felt very sleepy but for some reason could not go to sleep. Kept tossing and turning as I could not get comfortable. I tried listening to music, watching TV, but nothing was helping. Finally around 12:30 I got up and took a sleep aid tablet and then I went to sleep. I normally automatically wake up around 5:45 am but Hiker woke me up this morning at 6:30 am because she wanted to be fed and go potty. Took her out for her walk then came home, had breakfast, put a load of laundry in and then went over to Sam's Club. Then I vacuumed and once again, Hiker had shed enough to make a toupee (LOL). I was out in the garage moving some things around because Sunday some friends are coming to buy and take away Ben's and my pool table. Ben and I had not played pool in a few years but before that, we used to play it every weekend. As I was gathering the pool things together, I come across the pool cue that Ben had ever since he was a teenager and I started to cry. We had bought new pool cues about 5 years ago and were using them but when I saw the one that I remember him using years ago, it just made me so sad. I started thinking back about us playing together and remembered how we would “cheat” and how we'd tease each other about how we played. We never went by the real rules of pool...we made up our own and we'd have so much fun. But those days are gone and I won't be playing pool by myself or anyone else, so I decided to sell the table to someone who can enjoy it and I'll be able to put my 4Runner in the garage again. My handyman Daniel came by and put a new handle on my shower door and put a new lock on my dining room window. I'm so glad I found him a couple of years ago. He's really nice and he's really reasonable. Ben was not good at knowing how to fix things. I'm actually better than he was at those kinds of things, and I can fix some things, but it's nice to have someone like Daniel who lives in my community. Got up to the high 70's today and now it's getting a little windy.


  1. Bless your heart! I'm still so sorry for your loss! I know it must be so hard! I'm praying for comfort for you!

  2. memory joggers can be very upsetting. Hope you sleep better tonight. Love the shadow shot of you and your mate.


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