Friday, June 3, 2011
I am very upset and feeling very alone right now. Dr. Rupp, the Kaiser surgeon called me and said that I had to decide if they should do the surgery on Ben for his blockage. She told me that they will have to do a colostomy or a diverted colostomy on him, which means he will have a colostomy bag. The surgeon told Ben's brother that she feel's Ben should survive the procedure, however, she said that the first few days of post-op will be the critical time. She said there is no guarantee that the surgery will help him, in fact she said there is a possibility that it could make him worse., but if he does not have it, he will remain as he is right now and that is no better because he's getting weaker each day. She told me the best scenario is that he is able to tolerate tube feeding and eventually be taken off the ventilator and IF he can swallow, he would eventually be able to eat solid foods, but she is skeptical about that. The worst scenario is that he would not make a turn around to get better and maybe even die. I feel we need to at least try the surgery because either way I feel he could die. She said if he makes it through the critical days and eventually makes it off the ventilator and can swallow, that one day they would be able to maybe re-attach the ends of the colon and take the colostomy bag away, but she said that it's a 50/50 chance that that could happen. I am so upset. I've been crying my eyes out, but we have scheduled the surgery for 8:00 AM tomorrow. I have to be at the hospital before 7:00 AM to sign the consent papers, which should be no problem because I know I will not sleep at all tonight. I am here at home alone and there is no one who can come to stay with me. My friend Linda is out of town for the weekend. Ben's sister is in town for her grand-daughter's birthday and I'm hoping that she will be able to come and stay with me tonight. Waiting for a call back from her. Please pray for my dear sweat Ben, that he will survive this surgery and the next few days and that he will one day be able to lead at least some kind of a semi-normal life. This is just killing me.