Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Wednesday Update For ME!

Figured since so many of you have been checking up on me today that I would continue the updates for awhile, but the will be about me now. I called the hospital this morning to see what I needed to do about Ben's remains. They told me I did not have to come down unless I really wanted to and for me to call the mortuary and make an appointment with them to start the process. I got an appointment for tomorrow (Thursday) morning at 9:00 AM. I will sign the papers to have them pick Ben up from the hospital and for the cremation contract. I need to remember to ask them if they can give me a lock of Ben's hair for a keepsake. I'm also going to see about purchasing a cremation locket for myself. Keith (my brother) and I drove over to Ben's work and spoke with a few of his co-workers. They are all so sad about his passing. Some of them want to attend his memorial if they are not working that day. Linda came over and the three of us went out for a pizza lunch buffet. I am holding up pretty well, but now and then when we are talking, something will hit me just the wrong way and I'll well up in tears. I keep thinking that the people around me who do not know that I just lost my husband are wondering what in the hell is that woman crying about? But who cares! We started discussing plans for Ben's "Celebration of Life" Memorial. We started checking out some parks but most of them just didn't seem to feel right. We even considered an oak grove over in Placerita Canyon, but there seemed to be a lot of deer flies so we changed our minds on that. We ended up back at the community rec room here in Canyon View Estates where I live. Chris and Marcie (the ladies in the office) know me well, in fact, Chris lives across the street from me. We asked them about the rec room and they told me there would be no fee due to what I was using it for. We checked out the room. It is nice a big, air conditioned, has a full kitchen and a patio where we could set up a BBQ or two. We are penciled in for Saturday, July 23rd, but can change it if I have too. Hoping I won't have too though. The three of us have been discussing ideas for the memorial, about what we would do for food, about a time-line for the memorial, music, friends & family sharing memories and stories about Ben, etc. Linda is very good at planning these kinds of things, so she will be a great help to me with that. For you friends and family here in SoCal, I will send out an email invitation with all of the details when we get everything finalized so I hope you will SAVE THAT DATE! I received a call from my good friend Marilyn Forbes today. Marilyn and I go way back to before I met Ben. She invited me and Linda to come and stay a few days with her soon at her home in Palm Springs. My good friend Vicky Baskins, who also go way back with me, has also invited us to come and stay with her at her home in Temecula. Three other of my "Lockheed Sisters" want to get together for lunch on Monday if possible. This is such good therapy for me right now. Keith will be with me through Friday afternoon. I've been getting such wonderful emails and Facebook/Blogger/NOTH messages from my online friends. I want to thank all of you for your love and support. I love you all.


  1. I'm glad to read your friends are surrounding you at this difficult time, I wish for you better days ahead, your dear Ben will always be at your side.
    Sounds like the Memorial service will be a wonderful and fitting tribute.
    Take care of you,

  2. Praying for you! I'm glad you have so many around to help you out during this sad time!

  3. Bless your heart Kay. I'm tearing up hear and can't see the screen. My heart is breaking for you as you go through this difficult time. Ben fought a good fight. It is so sweet how you told him that it was OK and how much you loved him. I'm sure that he felt it and was peaceful knowing that you would be OK. My prayers will be with you Kay.


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