Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Memories Flow Back

Well last night I finally saw the commercial that I heard that night when I thought Ben had called me from the other room by saying “Hey You”. The commercial was for La Cordon Bleu cooking school. The guy's voice did sound like Ben's voice. Now I know I'm not crazy. Cold again this morning. Stayed in bed about 30 minutes longer than normal then got up and took Hiker on a 1 mile walk. I've noticed that she is getting fatter. I exercise her, so it's got to be the snacks I give to her in the middle of the day. The shelter had told me to feed her 1 cup of dry food I the morning and 1 cup in the evening, but I have been giving her bites of my lunch and other treats in the middle of the day so I guess I need to stop doing that every day. Now and then is OK but I don't want her to get too fat. I looked at some photos of her when I first got her and noticed that her middle section was a lot thinner 2 months ago. Went to my grief group today at the senior center. Not very many people showed up. Assume most of them were out Christmas shopping. Four of the regular guys showed up and a couple of the regular ladies plus me. Sometimes I think it goes better when less of us are there. Came home and Hiker was so thrilled to see me and for me to let her out of the garage. She kissed me for about 5 minutes before stopping. Took her for a 1.5 mile walk in the late afternoon. She was happy to be out walking. Hiker does not have a tail to wag, so I have to watch her ears to see what kind of mood she is in. Droopy ears means she sad, up and pointy means she's happy or curious. But today, I noticed the muscle where her tail would be wiggling a little bit. I've never noticed that before. Usually dogs without tails wag their entire butt but she doesn't. A memory of Ben came to me today. I've mentioned how he always worried about me. When I was meeting friends for lunch while he was at work, he wanted me to call him when I left home, when I reached my destination, when I left to go home and when I returned home. He worried about me when I was out hiking alone. Well I remember a time back in the late 1980's or early 1990's. SoCal was having very heavy rain storms. Streets were flooding and electricity was out in many places. Lockheed was still in Burbank, so I only worked about 8 or 9 miles from where we were living. I don't remember where Ben was working, but he usually got home after me. There were no cell phones back then. Well, one day it rained so much that some of us left work early. We had heard that streets were flooded, cars were underwater and traffic lights were out. I called home and left a message for Ben telling him that I was leaving work early and that I'd see him when we both got home. It usually only took me about 20 to 30 minutes to get home. I headed out and found that my normal route was closed due to flooding through the underpass, so I headed down a different route. Naturally the traffic was horrific because of the rain and no traffic lights. Ben somehow got home before me and got my message, I was still out on the road. I decided to take a turn and head up to the road I normally traveled. It was the street that our mobile home park was on, but I was still about 5 or 6 miles away from home. By now, Ben was starting to worry about me so he called my boss and she told him I had left about 30 or 40 minutes earlier. I finally got to the street I normally went to and from work on and I turned left and headed down the road at a snail's pace. Bumper to bumper traffic. I knew I still would not get home for another 30 to 45 minutes and that Ben would be worried, but I had no way to call him. I'd gone about 2 blocks when I looked at the on-coming traffic and see Ben's truck coming down the road toward me. I flashed my lights at him and thank goodness he saw me. He made a U-turn and jumped in front of me in the traffic and we headed for home. When we got there, I scolded him for going out into the weather and traffic. He told me that he was so worried about me that he was going to find me no matter what it took. I was just lucky that I had gotten back onto the road that I traveled on a daily basis before he passed the road I had just turned off from. Otherwise he would have missed me totally. I was so lucky to have a person who loved me so much that he put my safety ahead of his. I loved him for it, but at the same time, I was mad at him for risking it.


  1. Yes you were lucky to have such a good man. Helen

  2. A LOVE like that is priceless. Let his memory sustain you, as you struggle to go on without him. Take care.

  3. A lovely memory of your Ben. Hold onto it . Loved hearing how Hiker kissed you for ages. She has really taken to you now. She is probably putting on weight because she is happier now than when you first got her. What happened to her tail?


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