Wednesday, August 3, 2011

A Few Tears On Wednesday

Day started off not too bad. I'm sleeping a little better because I'm taking one of my sleep aids every night around 9:30 or 10:00 so I can go to sleep. Sometimes I still don't drift off until midnight, but I don't seem to be waking up all night long. I'm still waking up around 5:30 to 6:00 am so I'm still only getting 5 or 6 hours of sleep. Got up and made breakfast, then headed over to Target to pick up a flameless candle. My friend DeDee always laughs about her “shrine” she has in her bedroom for her late husband. Well I thought it was sweet, so I've started a “Ben Shrine”. I have it on my fireplace hearth in the living room. I consists of Ben's urn, a vase of flowers, his photo and now the flameless candle. After Target, I drove over to Kmart to see about getting a “bean bag” portable dash mount for my new GPS. I didn't want to mount it on the permanent windshield mount because people see that mount attached to the window and they break into your vehicle looking for the GPS. With the bean bag mount, I can take it off the dash and hide it in the trunk or wherever. When I was walking through the stores, I kept thinking how much a HATE my “new” life without Ben. There is such a large hole in my heart. actually do physically feel a pain in the middle of your chest because of your heart being broken. While I was out, I tried my new GPS to see how it works. Worked good except I notice that the voice gets a little confused sometimes about if the final destination is located on the left or on the right. When I got home, I was looking for something in my bedroom closet and I happened to run across Ben's baseball mitt and baseball. He used to play baseball about 30 years ago when he worked at Cooper's Hardware Store and they had a team who played against other stores. Well all I had to do was see that mitt and the sobbing started. My brother Ron called me from Paradise, CA around noon. Was nice to hear from him. Hot here again today. I'll be glad when it cools down so I can start walking more and Linda and I can get out for some 


  1. Any memory can trigger tears.Just know that you are very normal.The other bit of advice,which I may have already said is, be gentle on yourself.Healing takes time.

  2. I think the shrine is a very nice idea. Which brand of GPS did you end up getting? I've thought about getting one of the bean bag mounts, mine has the one that sticks by suction to the windshield. It also has one to stick it to the dash but I didn't want to do that either. Hope for a better day tomorrow, Sheila


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