Thursday, September 15, 2011

Back On The Trail Thursday

Today's quote:

“I heard someone whisper your name, but when I turned around to see who it was, I was alone. Then I realized that it was my heart telling me that I miss you”~Anonymous

Walking around Santa Paula yesterday must have worn me out because I started falling asleep on the sofa around 8:45 pm last night. I went to bed around 9:15 and I think I went right to sleep, but I kept waking up all night, so still did not get a solid night of sleep. Today Ben has been gone 3 months. Linda came by a little after 8:00 am this morning and we went for a hike. We only hiked about 2 miles or so. Could not find the trail that we wanted to follow. We just hiked until we ran out of trail then turned around and came back. When I got home, I took a shower and then made lunch and watched “The Young & The Restless”. When that was over, I drove over to Kohl's. I had received another free $10 gift card from them, so I bought a long sleeved T-shirt to prepare for the cooler weather that will be coming soon. Only cost me $2.16 with the $10 off. When I got home something set me off and I had about a 10 minute cry. I think it was because I remember how when I'd buy blouses or whatever, Ben would always want to see what I bought. I started thinking how it's no fun for me to go shopping like that anymore. I used to love to go when he was alive. He'd be at work and I'd take a “Me Day” and hit all the stores like Wal-Mart, Target, Kohl's, K-mart, etc. I looked forward to it and enjoyed it so much. Now I do not look forward to or enjoy anything anymore. Life has no purpose without Ben. I'll survive somehow though. That's what he would have wanted me to do.


  1. Yes, you will survive. I remember at about that stage,I hardly wanted to go on living.I do have to say that now that I am nearing the one year mark I feel totally different.Yes,I still am sad and still have times of crying,but it doesn't feel so hopeless.Cherish the memories even if they bring tears.

  2. Just wondering, have you had any moments where you thought you heard Ben calling your name? I remember when my husband used to travel for work, I would be doing something and swear I heard him call my worried me a little because I was afraid something had happened, thankfully nothing had. Hope you have a better day today, Sheila


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