Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Not Much To Say Today
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell”~Edna St Vincent Millay
I've gained back 10 of the pounds that I lost when Ben was in the hospital and right after he died. Guess that proves I'm eating. I need to start watching it now so I don't gain all of the weight back. I had lost a total of 20 lbs. I think all of the eating out I've been doing is what's making me gain it back because I sure don't cook for myself like I did when I cooked for Ben. Didn't get to sleep until about 2:00 am this morning. Went to my grief group alone today. Linda was not feeling well and DeDee had to get her truck serviced. We had a couple of people at the group today that I had never seen before, but found out that they had been there before, just not in awhile. Since the girls were not there to go out to lunch after group, I headed straight home to fix myself something to eat. For some reason, all the way home, I was feeling really down. When I got home and walked into the house, my tears started to flow. This time there was nothing specific that made me cry, just felt like crying, so I did. I am so looking forward to this weekend as my brother Keith is coming Thursday and spending 3 or 4 days with me.