Friday, September 2, 2011

How Can It Be September Already?

Today's quote:

“Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow”~Dan Rather

Got up and went for a 1.4 mile walk first thing this morning. I noticed that my legs and feet hurt now when I walk. Guess it's because I don't walk every day like I used too. I hope that when Linda and I get back to hiking this fall that I'll be OK on the trails. I think I have figured out another reason why I don't like going out for my walks now, when I'm walking alone, my mind wanders directly to Ben, as it does at home, but then I start to cry while walking and when I pass other people, I've got tears streaming down my face. This morning while walking I got to thinking about Ben's last day of his life. I started thinking about me holding him and telling him how much I loved him and thanking him for loving me and being such a good husband. I started sobbing as I was walking. Luckily I had worn a baseball cap so I could dip the brim down so people could not see my tears. My friend DeDee emailed me this morning and asked if I wanted to get together on Sunday, so thank goodness I have something planned for one day over the long holiday weekend. Was out back watering the plants and noticed that someone has moved into the house behind me. It had been empty for almost a year. They have 2 yappy dogs. Ben would have hated that. The people who lived there before had yappy dogs and it drove him nuts. He was so glad when they moved out of the house. Hopefully the dogs will get used to their new home and not yap so much. Got an email from Brittney who works at Fast Undercar where Ben used to work. She told me that they all talk about Ben all of the time and that his timecard is still in its usual spot. She said they can't stand to take it down. Ben would be so pleased to know that and I told her it means so much to me to know that they are keeping his memory alive and I'm sure it will mean a lot to Ben's brother and sister too. I actually took a short nap this afternoon.


  1. Glad you could get out and walk today.. That is good for you... Hope you can continue.

    Also glad that you have something to do on Sunday... You might want to consider taking some short trips during holiday seasons --just to have a nice distraction from your empty house.


  2. Having something to look forward to,does help.Let the tears flow,if people don't understand it is because they have not walked this road of life.You don't need to explain tears. It took me a long time to come to that realization,but it is freeing.


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