Monday, September 19, 2011
“I miss your love I miss your touch, But I’m feeling you everyday”~Anonymous
Well I'm glad another lonely weekend is over. I hate the reality that Ben will never be here with me again, but I have to try to accept it. I don't think I'll ever understand why the weekends are so much harder on me than the week days. You would think they'd be the same, but there is just something about Saturday and Sunday that just make me feel lonelier. When Ben was alive, he worked every-other Saturday, but every-other weekend, we had 3 whole days we spent together all day and I think that has something to do with it. Today I was reading a “widows blog” and the post mentioned that “we are loneliest when we are in a crowd”. How true that quote is. When I'm out in public and I see older couples holding hands or sitting in a restaurant sharing a meal, I think “that's supposed to be Ben and me”. I got a couple of more things off the list of things I need to do since Ben passed away. Went to the Auto Club and renewed the registrations on both vehicles and while I was there, I requested to have Ben's membership changed into my name. Ben was the primary on it and I was the second. I also had the office here in my community fax some paperwork over to their main office to see about getting Ben's name removed from my land lease. I'm still waiting to get the paperwork back from the county recorder showing that the house in now in my name only. My attorney sent that out the first week in August and I have not gotten anything back yet, but those government offices are always slow. I still have about 3 other things to get changed. 2 of them are not a big deal, but I have not changed the bank accounts yet as my attorney said to wait in case any refund checks come back in just Ben's name. My older brother called and we talked for awhile. Got up to about 97° here today. Will be glad when it cools done. They say it should on Wednesday which is good because Linda and I have a hike planned for that morning.