Tuesday, August 14, 2012

My Latest Article Included

Slept in a little this morning until Hiker just could stand to stay in bed. We didn't walk this morning because I was getting ready to go to my grief support group at the Senior Center. It is usually freezing in our meeting room but today the A/C felt really good. We had a small group today. I'm guess it was because people don't want to come out in this heat. Edwin was there, but Judy keeps him under control really good now. We had another new woman come to the first hour which is “general emotional support”, but she didn't seem to really belong. She seemed she was just there to “observe”. Don't know if she'll come back or not. We also had two new widows come in during the last hour which is our “grief support” time. One of them was not a “new” widow as her husband passed away 14 years ago, but she was “new” to our group. My second “chapter” of my article “A Widow's Journey” was in “The Mighty Oak” which is the senior center's monthly newsletter. I can't share a link with all of you as the center had just hired a new webmaster and he is still working to get the newsletter on their web page. Instead I will include my second chapter at the end of this post. I didn't feel like going out to lunch with the ladies today. Just didn't want to be out in the heat longer than necessary. I stopped by KFC on the way home and picked up some food for my lunch and headed home to Hiker. When I got home, I don't know if she was asleep or what, but when I opened the door, she didn't greet me and when I called her name, she came cowering around the corner on her belly with her ears down like she had done something wrong. Once she saw me, she got excited and started jumping around. I “only” got to 100° here today. I say “only” because it is about 8° cooler but it sure does not feel like it. They say we are going to stay HOT for the next 5 to 7 days.

"A Widow's Journey Part 2"

Being a widow/widower is hard. Your life has changed so much.
In the first few months, you try to find a reason to get out of bed each morning. If you were able to sleep the night before, you wake up expecting that person you loved more than life itself to be lying in the bed next to you, but then you once again realize that they are gone forever.
You have to find ways to keep busy. Your loved one will constantly be on your mind, but you have to adjust to your new life without them. It's hard, but you must go on. You must try to find your “new normal”.
One week after my husband died, I joined the Grief Support Group here at the Senior Center. I was a little afraid of going into that room that first day, but I was greeted by so many warm and friendly people who knew exactly what I was going through. There were both men and women who had lost their spouses in the group and they welcomed me with open arms. It felt so good to be around people who knew how I felt. They didn't judge me when I told them my story and cried...they totally understood.
I knew that family and friends from my “other life” had their lives to live and that they could not be with me all of the time. I needed to be with people who were on the same journey that I had just started out on.
I had to take it one day at a time.


  1. I think having that support group to turn to probably made a big difference in your life at that difficult time. There are not alot of groups like that around here. We are lacking in such important things. Glad you and Hiker found each other. Sorry to hear you've had no break with those high temps. we finally got some relief here and it was welcome for sure. take care.

  2. Your statement that you need to adjust to your new life hit me. I remember those days. It's so hard, I am so glad you have the group to meet with and have made new friends.

  3. Very good journal. When I was a young widow I wrote a poem about being a widow. The ones who have been through it totally understand.

  4. Your words are so touching, Kay... and hopefully the "new" people will return to your meetings.
    You scared me for a minute when you said Hiker didn't come right away... glad everything was okay! *whew*


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