Monday, December 31, 2012


Got up at 6:15 am to get ready for our dog walk with Jean. It was 25° on my patio and everything was covered with frost. Would have loved to crawl back under the warm covers this morning. Met Jean at 7:20 am and we headed down to Discovery Park. We had to be very careful walking because there was ice in the street and we almost lost our footing a few times. My hands and my feet were numb from the cold. We came back to my house and let the dogs play in the yard for a little while. Just about froze sitting on the patio watching them. It warmed up to about 55° in the afternoon, so Hiker and I went out for another walk. We did almost 1.5 miles. We did what I refer to as a “Hiker led walk”. I hook her leash to a belt around my waist and just let her take me wherever she wants to go. She prefers walking on the dirt trails in the park because there are no bikes or skateboards on the dirt. I just let her lead me around while she sniffs everything and I look for photo ops. Tonight at midnight, another year fades away. Once again I have the sad feeling that I will be facing another new year without Ben. I thought that last year I felt this way because it was the first year change since Ben had died. I can't really explain the feeling. It's as if his existence slips farther and farther away from me each year. I don't know if the other people in my grief group have this feeling or not. I wonder if I will feel this way each New Year's Eve. Don't know if we will be awake at midnight. Will probably fall asleep around 10:00 or so.

Frost on the ground at 7:30 am

Beautiful day after frost melted


  1. That looks awfully cold for California. You were brave to go out in it for a walk. I love the idea of Hiker taking you for a walk. Does she take you to the same place each time? It sounds reasonable for you to feel that way about Ben. My sister in law is still suffering the loss of my brother 3 years ago. I hope you manage to find some happy times in 2013.

  2. Beautiful Kay! Happy New Year dear friend!


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