Monday, December 24, 2012
Rain all night again. Keith left to head home around 9:15 am. He wanted to get started early because of the traffic. We knew there had been a sigalert on the 210 so he waited for it to clear up some before he left. It's just me and Hiker again so the house will be quiet and a little lonely after having Keith here with us. This is my second Christmas without Ben. Even though Ben and I never really did anything special for Christmas Day, it still hurts to be alone when I see families getting together to celebrate. As you know, we never had children. When our mom's were alive, we'd usually go to Ben's mom's house with my mom and we'd have Christmas with the mom's and Ben's brother and sister and their families. After the mom's died, we usually just stayed home on Christmas. We did have a few “traditions” even though it was always just the two of us. Just before Thanksgiving, I would get Ben to pose for our Christmas card photo. I always took the photo with the help of my tripod. He'd complain, but he'd always give in and let me take the photo. I'm so glad that I took several photos in November 2010 because those are some of the last photos I have of Ben and that is the way I always want to remember him, NOT the way he looked when he was in the hospital. The day after Thanksgiving, Ben and I would put Christmas lights on the outside of the house and the rest of the weekend, I would decorate the inside of the house putting up a tree, our Christmas stockings and garland. Ben would sit in his chair and “supervise”. He'd also sing Christmas carols. Not really knowing most of the words, he'd make up his own and make me laugh. Sometimes he'd grab a handful off tinsel or an ornament and hang it over his ears or put it in his hair. He was always so silly. If I was wrapping presents, he'd always grab a bow and apply it to his forehead. Ben's favorite Christmas movie was “It's A Wonderful Life” and our main tradition was to watch it together every Christmas Eve. It's hard for me to watch that movie now. However, Keith and I did watch it on Saturday night. I used to love to hear Christmas music, but it is so hard now to listen to some of the songs, especially “Blue Christmas” by Elvis. But....I think I have done very well so far.